I Will Give You a New Heart

So we're in the middle of a sermon series on parenting, godly parenting. This is the seventh sermon, and we'll have three more after this week. As I've said before, I want to remind you again, if you're listening to one of these sermons and you've missed other ones, I want you to listen to the whole series, because these sermons fit together. Parenting is the sort of thing that you can't deal with in one sermon or even two. And so I don't make any, I don't want you expecting that I would, in every sermon, tie up every loose end that I open up. Over the course of time, I do hope to do that. But if you only listen to one sermon, you're going to think, but what about, but what about, well, what about? And I'd love to hear what you think after we're done with 10 weeks.

If you have that question, talk to me about it. There probably was a sermon about that. And so this week we're going to be talking about our hearts, the hearts of our children and how to deal with them. And the reason we're talking about that this week is last week I talked about our children's wills. And I talked about not only that our children have wills, but that we have wills. We as parents have wills. We have desires that we're always pursuing. We may think that we wander through life just sort of taking life as it comes, but that's not actually the case. Every one of us has a desire, whether we are aware of it or not, and we're pursuing those desires. Our will is what causes us to, it's what we use to describe our desire to go after something. And so this week what I want to do is talk about where our wills come from.

Because if you remember last week, I described our wills as a piece of rubber. And I said, you can take a piece of rubber and you can exert force on it. And you can conform that piece of rubber to it. You can turn it into a new shape. But the thing about rubber is once you remove the pressure on it, it just springs back to its original form. And so if our goal in parenting is to raise obedient children, children who do what they're told, We may well be failing them if all we're doing is exerting pressure on them saying, you have to do this, you need to do that. This is what you're supposed to do. Godly parenting requires more of us than that. We have to get beyond simply what our children do. We have to get them to want to obey because the reality of our lives is that they're going to grow up. And the pressures that are exerted on them in their childhood will over time be removed. And they will be able to do the things that they want to do.

And not only will they be able to do those things, they will do those things. And so our work as parents is not only to teach them what to do, but to teach them why to do it, and more than that, to teach them to love to do it. And so knowing God's law is not sufficient. Outward conformity to God's law is not sufficient. We want our children to love God's law. We want their will to be headed in the direction of obedience, because that's what they have to govern them is their heart. You know that in your own life, you do the things that you want to do. And when someone comes to you and says, why don't you do this instead? We say things like, let me think about it. Or if we're really Christian, we say, what? Let me pray about it. Listen, these are the sorts of things that we need to learn about ourselves. We have a will. We have a heart. We have things we want. And when we see something come into conflict,

with our desires, we go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know about that. We're going to have to think about it. We're going to have to wait. And what I want us to see, what I want us to be growing in both as parents and so that we can teach our children is how to deal with our heart. And there's this tension amongst parenting. And there's sort of two ditches that you can fall into. One ditch is, Well, what we're going to do is we're going to teach our kids what they're supposed to do, what they're supposed to do, what they're supposed to do. And so long as they do those things, we've done our job. And so we're only going to address fruit or behavior. And on the other side, they say, no, no, no, we can't do it that way, because if we do it that way, we're disregarding, we're neglecting the fact that our children have hearts and wills, and so we're going to neglect what they actually do, and every single thing is going to be a heart issue.

Everything they do has got something wrong with their heart. And we're not going to make an issue of what they do. We're only going to focus on what goes on internally. And what I want us to see is that those two things are inextricably connected. You can't separate them. And a godly parent will do both things. And they'll do it as God gives them wisdom with their children. Some of your children will be compliant children. They'll be glad to do what you tell them to do. And they won't get in trouble, and they'll do better in school, and they just sort of fly under the radar. If you guys know Canaan, that's Canaan is my boy that does that. You tell him to do something, he's just, okay, okay, I'll do it. He doesn't yell a lot, he doesn't throw things much or punch and kick his brothers like some of the other ones are more inclined to do. And so Canaan doesn't sin. Or he would have you think he doesn't sin.

But he's convinced he doesn't sin. So a couple of weeks ago, Canaan had this sin. He kicked one of his brothers. Isn't that what you did? You kicked one of them on the trampoline? Do you remember? You don't remember? He doesn't remember. I remember. And I called him in the house, and I took him in my arms, and I said, Honey, I am so glad that you sinned. I'm so glad that you sinned. And he looked at me with the look like some of you are looking at me like, I don't quite understand what you mean, Daddy. And I said, I'm so glad that you sinned because you see in this house, you think that all of the kids that yell and throw things and have their wills, they wear it out on their sleeve, that they just do what they want. You think those are the sinners. But you kids that just kind of fly under the radar and just go along, you think you're not a sinner. And honey, I'm so glad that we have a chance to talk about the fact that you are a sinner, just like your brothers. You just have different sins.

And so the reason I bring up Canaan is not to embarrass him. I bring him up to say, Canaan could grow up through our house and into adulthood, and if all we ever focus on with Canaan is outward conformity, doing what you're supposed to do, Canaan will be a golden child. And you'll all think, Canaan's this wonderful kid, and he is. I love him dearly. But Canaan has a heart and a will. And every once in a while, we get to see it, that he actually does want things and pursue them. What he wants is to be the best and to be more agreeable and more peaceful than anyone else. He wants to obey because that makes him better than everyone else. That's what he pursues. And if one of his brothers will, you know, some of my kids, if Micah's doing something wrong, Joseph will come to him and say, Micah, you can't do that.

Dad said don't do that. And then if Micah doesn't listen, Joseph will grab him and do something to him. Micah will end up crying. And Joseph's got his sin in the matter, and Micah's got his sin in the matter. But what's Canaan do? Canaan just watched Micah. Micah will do something that he knows he's not supposed to do, and he'll just watch him. And he'll just let his brother go right into sin. And then you come to Canaan, and you say, Canaan, what happened? He goes, I don't know. I don't know why he did what he did. Did you try to help him? Well, is there any love in Canaan when he does that for his brother? No, there's not. And so Canaan has a heart and he has a will and he pursues things. And we have to know our children from the very beginning of this sermon, you have to know that every single one of your children has a heart and they have a will and they're pursuing the things they want. And it's your work as parents to figure out what each of your children wants and what they pursue. And we have to be working towards and praying towards

Them having a new heart. Because God promises us in our text this morning that he will give his people a new heart and a new spirit. And if we only focus on whether they do what they're told, we've disregarded the fact that they have a heart and they need a new one. Their old one isn't sufficient. And that's our work as parents is to help expose that and show that to them and pray to the end that God would give them a new heart. Would you please stand for the reading of God's word from Ezekiel 36? Verses 26 and 27. This is the word of the Lord and it's eternally true. Moreover, says the Lord, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and will give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and you will be careful to observe my ordinances. This is the word of the Lord. You may be seated.

This passage is pretty, you know, you think, okay, well, what's the Lord saying in this passage? And it's pretty straightforward. If you were to describe it sort of logically in terms of progression, the Lord says, I'm going to give you a new heart and a new spirit so that you will walk in my statutes and observe my ordinance, so that you'll obey. He says, I'm going to give you a new heart so that you can obey. If we were to boil this verse down to its essence, that's what we find. And so there are a couple of things as we unpack this verse that we need to realize. The first is that if he's going to give you a new heart, it means you need a new heart. And that's pretty basic to say, right? We need new hearts. It's like, well, yeah, I need a new heart. But believing it is very different than knowing it. What does the scripture tell us about our hearts? How do they exist in us from the beginning?

Jeremiah 17.9 says that our hearts are more deceitful than all else and desperately sick. Who can understand it? This is the state of our hearts. This is what we're dealing with. And not only our hearts, but our children's hearts. They don't come out as good people. They don't come out with good hearts and good desires and good intentions. They're born sinners. And as they grow, they begin to express their desires. And you begin to see as parents that they don't desire the things of the Lord naturally. They have to be taught those things. They have to be led into those things. They need a new heart. I was having a conversation with a guy recently, and he was telling me about his sin, but at the same time he was telling me that he was a good person. This guy professes Christ. He's just like you or just like me.

But there was this sin he was dealing with in his life. And he said, but that's really not who I am. I'm really a good person. I'm not the kind of person that does that. If you were in Sunday school, this was overlap. He said, but I'm not the kind of guy who loses his temper. And knowing him, because he's my friend, I ended up saying to him, that's not actually true. You actually are the kind of guy that loses your temper because I've seen you do it on more than one occasion. You know, scripturally, if you want a category, it's a fit of anger. This is what he's tempted by. But he's believed something that's very destructive to him and very sad to me. He's believed that he's not really what he does. That his attitude, the actions and the things that he does don't actually betray who he is. And what I say to him is, No, these are the gifts that God gives you. You mean my sins, those are gifts? And I say, yes, if you have eyes to see, your sins will show you what is inside of you. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. And so when you say something foul, that's a window into your heart to see what's in there. And so going forward with this man whom I love, I want to help him to see. That little crack,

in the facade where this nastiness came out. What I want to do is bring him around and look in the crack and pull it open and say, do you see what's inside of there? What's it look like at home? What's it look like at work? What was the home you grew up in? I just kind of want to open it up so that we can get in there and see that this lie he believes, I'm a good person. That he'll come to see that's a lie. He's not a good person. He's a sinner. And that doesn't disqualify him from being a Christian. That's what actually qualifies him. And so he doesn't have to keep up the appearance of being a good person. He can be an honest man who struggles with sin. And what a relief it is to be able to be honest about your sins and your struggles. What a relief it is. You don't have to keep up appearances. You have to fight against sin, but you don't have to lie. What I want to teach him, what I want to teach you,

is that you need to be suspicious of your own heart. Because when I tell you this story, you go, well, he should just know better than that. I know better than that. He should know better than that. And I say, so how do you handle it when someone questions you about your motives? Why did you do that? All of a sudden, you get defensive. And it's not appropriate for them to be questioning you because you wouldn't do something like that. And I say, you're in a perfect place to fall into greater sin because you don't think you'd do something like that. In Galatians chapter 6, Paul tells us, you who are spiritual, if anyone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one with a spirit of gentleness. What? Looking to yourself. Seeing to it that you yourselves do not fall into sin. And I'll tell you that if you've helped someone who's caught in sin, then you know the temptation to call them out of it and replace them in it. You feel the temptation and the pull to fall into sin. And so when we look at people, other people, and we see them struggling in dealing with sin or not dealing with sin, and we go, I don't understand why or how they would do something like that. I say to you, beware, because you're placing yourself in danger.

Let he who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. You need to be suspicious of your heart. You have the same sort of inclinations and dangers that that man does. And until you see it, you're vulnerable. To the extent that you see it, you at least become aware of the battlefield and what the fight's going to look like. I recently was talking to a guy and he said, do you think I would do that? I said, well... No, that's not really the right question. It's not that, do I think you would do that? I mean, yeah, I do. But what I said to him is, I said, listen, I don't trust you any more than I trust myself. And I think I would do it. And so it's not actually about you. I just think, I've said this before to you guys, I assume that I'm normal. And that the temptations and the struggles that I face, are common to man. And that means that you face them as well. And so when I enter a situation and I see how I would spin it or how I would be tempted to change things and get in there and monkey around with it, I assume that you'd do the same thing. And you can either be offended by that or you can be comforted by that. And I want you to be comforted by it. The reason I'm suspicious of our motives is because I'm suspicious of my own heart. I don't trust myself.

And to think that everything I do is right and pure because I decided to do it. No, I don't believe that. I don't believe that for myself and I don't believe that for you. Because God tells us we need new hearts and we need his spirit. And so we ought to be suspicious of our hearts and our motives. Why do we need to be suspicious of our hearts and our motives? Because the question is, what is the goal of God giving them a new heart? What's the fruit of it? What does it produce? In our passage it says, I'm going to give you a new heart. I'm going to put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my heart, to walk in my statutes and to be careful to observe my ordinances. That's the end for which God gives us new hearts. It's so that we'll walk in obedience to him. And so the first thing we learn is we need new hearts. The second thing we learn is why we need them. We need them so that we can honor Jesus Christ. So that we can grow in godliness and do what he requires of us. Fulfill the purpose for which he made us.

We're his creation, and he made us to glorify him, and he's glorified when we lovingly, cheerfully, happily obey him. And without a new heart, you can't cheerfully and contently obey God. You, for a time, and this is especially true of children, you can make them do things for a while. You can enforce your will as a parent on your child. You're ten times as big as they are. They have to do what you say. It would be crazy for them not to. But at some point, they're going to get bigger than you. And what are you going to do then? You won't be able to enforce your will on them. And you'll have used the time to instruct their heart and their will. And if you haven't taught them to love God's law and cultivate a desire to obey, they're going to go do what they want. Just like you. Just like me.

We need new hearts if we're going to obey God. So these old hearts, these hearts of stone, they will not bring us to obedience. They cannot bring us to obedience. But this reality doesn't stop us from trying to obey with these hearts. There are things that each one of us do in our lives and we know it doesn't work. We keep trying though. It doesn't stop us. We start trying to move the goalposts around to try to make it possible. And so if old hearts, hearts of stone, can't produce obedience, in our right minds we go, well then we need new hearts and that's what we need to aim for. We need to get new hearts before we worry about any of this other stuff. And I say, well yeah, that makes sense, but that's not what we do. What we actually do is start changing, we start moving things around. There are plenty of ways that we do this. We do this with external constraints. So for instance, men who struggle with,

with pornography on their computer? What's one of the things that a lot of them do? They get programs on their computer, accountability programs, that notify their accountability partners when they're doing things that are inappropriate online. Is that a good thing? Yes, that's a good and helpful thing. Does that fix the problem? No, it doesn't. What's the problem? Is the problem simply that the man's doing inappropriate things on the computer? No, the problem is his desire to do it. And the reality of those programs, if you put too much stock in them, is men will find ways around them. They learn passwords. They use a different device. They learn how to get around it. They just change the rules. Oh, you give me this external accountability, this restraint. Well, I'm just going to do an end around that to get what I want.

Because that thing in and of itself doesn't address their desire in their heart. They don't hate the wickedness. They've just got a wall on this part of the field that keeps them from getting to their wickedness, so they go over it or around it or under it. How else do we try to get these hearts of stone to obey God? We try to do it with consequences. If you do this, this is what's going to happen to you. If you do this, then this is how it's going to end up. Is it good to warn people of the consequences that they're going to face? Absolutely. Absolutely it's good to warn people. It's loving to warn people. We ought to tell people, if you do this, you're going to die. Because that's what God said to Adam in the garden. In the day that you eat of it, you're going to die. He warned him. And yet he didn't remove the tree. Don't you think it would have been better to just say, there's a temptation. I'm just going to move that tree out of here.

God warned Adam, don't eat of that tree. And the day that you eat of it, you're going to die. But he left the tree. And did the disciplinary consequences work with Adam? Well, no, they didn't. Do they work with us only if we have new hearts? What about the computer programs? Do they work? With new hearts, they're much more effective. With old hearts, they don't work. With hard hearts, discipline doesn't... change in the end. The child, you will pursue what you want regardless of the fallout. If you were to think in your own life the pain that, you know, you've done something in your life that's caused people pain and the question is, did you know it was going to cause them pain? Did you know it was going to cause them grief? Did you know it was going to hurt? And every one of us can think of a time when the answer to that question is yes.

I knew that if I did this, that this would be the fallout. And in the face of that knowledge, I did it anyway. How else do we try to make our old hearts obey? Well, we change what obedience is. Obedience moves from something that's objective to something that's very subjective. And so you tell your child, here's an example. Honey, I want you to sweep the floor. Okay? What's obedience look like? What is obeying that command? It's sweeping the floor, right? So what if your child comes to you and says, I really wanted to sweep the floor, but I forgot. What are you supposed to believe at that point? You're supposed to believe that the child's desire to obey is the same as them actually obeying. But they're not the same thing. I can't help it that I'm forgetful. I'm so sorry, Daddy. I'll try better next time.

But if it becomes habitual with this child who's forgetful, what are you supposed to say to them? I guess I just got a forgetful child that doesn't remember things. So I'm going to tie strings around their fingers and I'm going to make note boards and I'm going to do all of this. I'm going to remind them. I'm going to send them text messages. I'm going to do all this stuff to try to help them. Now, am I opposed to you doing any of those things? No. But you have to realize that child has a heart. And that same child that forgets to sweep the floor habitually doesn't forget to do the things they want to do. They don't forget to pursue the, oh, I want to go hang out with my friends this weekend. They don't forget to do, I just forgot that I was supposed to go to that party. I just got too busy. I just forgot. No, their whole life.

is aimed in that direction. And I'm sorry I forgot to sweep the floor. And I'm sorry I forgot to clean. And I'm just forgetful. But you better not forget that I've got a party on Friday night that I want to go to. That child has a will. That child has a heart. And all of those external things that you can do for them to help them are fine. They're good. They're appropriate. But they don't address the heart of the matter. If that child doesn't have a changed heart and desire to obey, all those other things, in the end, are going to fall on deaf ears. Because what you're telling the child to do is in conflict with what that child wants to do. And they're going to do what they want. So if we're to obey God, if our children are to obey God, we must have new hearts. Must have them. We must be made new. We have to be regenerated. We have to be changed. Believing the gospel of Jesus Christ

confessing your sins and putting your hope and trust in Christ is something that has to do with your heart. It has to do with your affections. It has to do with what you love, not simply what you know. Lots of people know the gospel. The angels shudder, and it does them no benefit. Our children need new hearts. And you as a parent may not be content with them simply, when they're young, doing what they're told. They need to do what they're told. You should tell them what you expect of them. If you've listened to previous sermons, I've spent whole sermons talking about telling your children what you expect of them. That you shouldn't, as a parent, go along with the spirit of the age, which is that you're useless in your children's lives. And what they need are role models. No, what your children have are parents because that's what God gave them. They gave them a mother and a father to raise them.

And that mother and that father, you have more influence in your children's lives than anyone else in the world. And if you neglect to teach them the things that you ought to teach them, then they will have missed it. And so the exhortation to you as parents is try. You want your children to have new hearts? Tell them you want them to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Tell them who he is. Tell them what he's done and why he had to die. And what kind of sinner you are. Not simply what kind of sinner they are. It's really easy to tell other people how they sin. You can overwhelm them with their failures. And depending on who they are, they may know more than you do about themselves and be completely overwhelmed. But the Lord has compassion on sinners. And if you as a parent don't know that you're a sinner, that you're made of dust just like they are, and that you need the mercy and the compassion of Jesus Christ so that you can live and have hope.

then you won't be able to communicate that to your children. You can tell them those words. You can catechize them. You can teach them about the love of God. But your children will love the things you love. And this is especially true of fathers. You fathers, your children will love what you love. And they'll neglect the things that you neglect. And you go, I don't want them to do that. I really don't want them to do that. I don't want them to be like me. And remember, I said in previous weeks, I said, aren't you like your parents? Aren't we all like our parents in some way? And what I said to you at that point was, that shouldn't be a completely depressing thought to you because your parents didn't only give you sin. I did not grow up in a Christian home. I got into my 20s before I could tell you the difference between the Old and New Testament. And my mom gave me some good things. Yes, there were sins. Of course there were. Every one of us would say that, with Christian parents or not. But my mom gave me some good things as well.

And I thank God for her and for those things that she gave me. And so don't you for a second think that you as parents don't have to give your kids good things and tell them what you want for them. You have to. Grandparents need to tell their grandchildren what they expect of them. Grandparents should tell their grandchildren, don't get tattoos. That's what they should tell them. Because parents that are my age don't have the sense to tell their kids that. I remember before I got my first tattoo, I was hiding it from my grandma. I was happy for her to die not knowing that I was going to get a tattoo. Well, she found out. And I sat on the porch of the Aurora Historical Society where my grandma clipped history articles out of the newspapers and put them in the books so that people would remember about Aurora. I sat there with her and her old friend, 85 years old, and they're talking to me about gilding the lily. Don't gild the lily, son. Don't do that. And Dan's looking at me like, what's that even mean? They're saying, don't be stupid.

Don't do that. You shouldn't do that. That's dumb. It's foolish. Did I listen? No. No, no, no. I knew better. And so grandparents should tell their grandchildren things. Parents should tell their adult children things. Should they micromanage them like their five-year-olds? No, they shouldn't. Should they completely hands-off, do what you want? No, they shouldn't. They should parent their adult children. And they should be grandparents to their grandchildren. This is the fabric of how God's designed this to work. And so if you want your kids to have new hearts, which they need, you have to have a new heart. And you have to know the necessity of it for yourself. And you can't be precious with your sins. You have to tell them about it. Don't yell. You shouldn't yell at your brother. How's that sit with them? What are they learning? Oh, I can be a hypocrite like dad.

You shouldn't yell. And yet here I am. This is the last week for me. And my wife says, you can't do that with him. Some of our kids can handle that and some of them can't. Amos can't. Amos just kind of gets all bollocked up. And so I have to go to Amos and say, honey, listen, I'm sorry. Daddy should not have done that. It was wicked of me. It wasn't helpful to you. It dishonored Jesus Christ. And that's not what I want to do. Further, it's not what I want you to do. And so I'm sorry, and would you please forgive me? And all of a sudden, my son would talk. But he wouldn't talk before that. I was simply trying to get him to speak up. He'd come to me, and whenever he's nervous, he kind of gets this, like, his face starts changing shapes, and he's like, and he can't get words out because he's scared. And I say, speak up. Speak up. And he won't speak up. And so I speak up for him. Speak up. And he just gets more and more scared.

And so in that moment, I have to come to him and say, I'm sorry, son. And not just, I'm sorry, will you forgive me? Here's why I'm sorry. Here's what I did wrong. Here's what I should have done instead. What I did didn't honor the Lord. And would you please forgive me for that? And would you also please speak up so that I can hear you? I want to know what you think. I want to know what you want so that I can meet your needs. Please speak up, son. So what does a new heart look like? Well, when you think of getting a new heart, our only point of reference is organ transplant. I tell you you need a new heart and you're thinking, okay, so when people get new hearts, they go into the hospital and they get cut open and they take the old nasty one out and they put the new one in and then they're better. And so this is how we think about this. And so we take that knowledge and we apply it to this text and we go, okay, so what new hearts do is they,

Fix the problem. Old hearts are completely incapable. And new hearts, as soon as you get them, everything's fixed. And I say, no, no, no. That's not how it works. Because what are we supposed to get in addition to a new heart? He says that I'm going to give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you. And what spirit is that? That spirit is his Holy Spirit. And so what is the work of the Holy Spirit? What does he do? Does he just change us? from dead and wicked and completely unholy and offensive to God and deserving of his wrath? Does he change us into perfectly righteous and obedient and sinless? And that's not what he does. That's what Jesus' death accomplished on the cross. But the work of the Holy Spirit in our life is to lead us into truth, to guide us, to shepherd us, to comfort us, to convict us.

Listen to John 16, verses 7 to 15. Jesus says, I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth. For He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak. And He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine, therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you. So let me ask you this. If we think of the work of the Holy Spirit as flipping a switch, new heart, everything's better, what I want to know from you is, do you see that happen anywhere? Jesus says he's going to come and he's going to convict the world of this, of sin and righteousness and judgment. Is he done with that work? No, he's not. Is he negligent of that work? No, he's not. And so we're left realizing,

He's in the process of doing it still. Whether you think of it in terms of in the world or in your own life, he's in the process of helping us and leading us into the truth. And he's in the process of saying the things to us that we couldn't bear when Jesus left. He says, I have many more things to say to you, but you can't bear them now. But when I go, it's better for you because when I go, I'll send a helper and he'll lead you into those things. He'll say those things that I was not able to say to you. Now he'll say those things to you. This is a process. This is sanctification. This is growth. And so what I don't want you to mistake is being regenerated, made new, justified by Christ's blood.

You need to get in your minds that that has perfection as its end, but there's a lot that happens in between there, and that's the work of the Holy Spirit, is us being renewed, us being changed, us growing over time. Talking about this concept, John Owen says that it was God's kindness to us to keep us dependent on him by allowing us to continue to struggle in sin. He said it's the mercy of God that he doesn't just... Have you be done with sin? Because if you were done with sin that easily, you would walk away from the Lord because you wouldn't constantly be reminded of your need of Him. And so it's God's kindness to you that He allows you to struggle for a time with your sin. And that during that time, He gives you a Holy Spirit to bring your new heart online. Changing your desires. Changing what you want. Bringing you into conformity to the will of God. Into obedience to Him.

Have you guys ever seen these videos of people trying to put octopuses into clothing? And none of you have ever seen this? Okay, well, imagine it then. Now for something completely different. Well, it's not, but it's meant to demonstrate something. You can imagine what trying to put a dead octopus into would be like, right? I mean, try. It'd be hard, right? Because it just kind of, you know, you know. It'd be really difficult. It could be done, but it'd be hard, and it would take time. And that's what killing our sin is like. It's hard, and it takes time, okay? That's what it's like. It's like every time you think you're like, okay, I'm getting some progress over here, and it just slides out and falls out the other side, and here we are again. Picking it up, trying again. This is what the Holy Spirit helps us with. He's bringing our new heart.

He's helping. And it's hard work. Have you had sin in your life that you can just, and it's gone? I mean, really. If you're honest. No. You can have sins in your lives that go dormant. And you think, oh, it's gone. Look, it's gone. And I say, okay, but do you still want it? No, I don't want it because it's not in front of me. And I say, okay, but if it was in front of you, would you still desire it? If the answer is, yeah, I still want it, I know I shouldn't want it because I did that and wanted that before I was a Christian and now I'm a Christian. I just don't want that stuff anymore. I say, you're not being honest. Yes, you do. And until you're honest about what you want and where you're at in this process with your heart, being made new again, being made new, being regenerated, you'll struggle.

in your fight against sin. And I don't want you to be unaware of what's going on in your heart. Getting a new heart is absolutely necessary to obeying Jesus Christ. And yet it's not so simple as a switch that gets flipped and all of a sudden, all of your desires are pure. They're not. Some of them are. All of a sudden, what happens when God makes you alive in Christ is all of a sudden, you start having... all kinds of tension inside of you. And you get twitches and you get all bollocked up. Because now you realize there's a conflict inside of you that has never existed before. This is what Paul talks about in Romans 7. I mean, it's as if he's having an out-of-body experience. It's like he's yelling at the mirror and the mirror's yelling back at him. The law is good.

Yes, it is. But I don't do what the law says I should do. No, you don't. But I want to do. Yes, you do, but you don't do it. You do this other stuff. But you shouldn't do it. I know I shouldn't do it. But I go do it anyway. And when I do it, I admit by doing it that it's wrong because I don't like it while I do it, but I can't help but doing it. This is what it looks like to have your heart made new, to have the Holy Spirit bringing you into greater conformity to Jesus Christ. It's hard. It's difficult. You don't win every fight. The temptation with me talking about all this is that me saying it's going to be a real fight, and in some ways you live in a lot more peace. Non-Christians have a false peace, but they seem to be more content than Christians are. They're more settled about what they're here for and what they're doing with their life and the things they pursue. They just go, I want it, so I go get it. But Christians have to go, I want it.

but I don't know that what I want, I don't know that I should want it. Maybe I can want it. Maybe I shouldn't want it. Maybe I could want it a little bit, but I might want it too much, and then that would be a problem. And so you get discouraged. And we want to throw the whole thing away and just go, I hope it all works out. But that's not faith. Our hope isn't in what our eyes have seen or what we've experienced in our lives. Our hope is in God's mercy shown to us through his son dying on the cross. He began something on Calvary that he will bring to completion in us. In Ephesians 1.6, Paul writes, For I am confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ. So it's not done yet, but it is being done. And as a Christian, you have to believe it.

Because if you don't believe it, you're a ship without a rudder. And Satan will toss you all over the place. This is our hope. This is what we believe in. We believe that Jesus died to pay the penalty for our sins so that we could have peace with God and glorify him here and into eternity. That's what we believe. And the things that we experience and the difficulties that we face in this world because of its fallenness, because of our fallenness, may not cut the knees from underneath that. May not undercut it. Christians believe in the shed blood of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of all of their sins. They don't lie about their sins. They don't hide their sins. They don't make excuses for their sins. They don't call sin obedience. They say it's sin. And God knows my sin better than I know my sin. And He made provision for my sin through His Son. And that's my rock. That's what I stand on.

And I will fight from that strength my whole life. Now this is a sermon on parenting, right? And so my exhortation to you as parents is you have to believe this not only for yourself, but for your children. Parents have this thing where it's like we would do anything for our kids. Paul demonstrates it in the scriptures where he said, I would give my own life for my countrymen, for the Jews. He has this love for them that cannot be bound. And this is the love that a parent has for their child. They would do anything for them. And so what you have to do as parents is, first, you have to believe the gospel for yourself, that you need a new heart, and that you understand what getting a new heart and a new heart growing looks like in your life. And then you have to believe that about your children. You have to believe they need new hearts. Bringing them to church is not sufficient. Getting them baptized is not sufficient.

Teaching them to pray is not sufficient. Teaching them God's law is not sufficient. If they are to have peace with God, they must have new hearts. They must put their hope in Him. And it's your work to teach them that, to show them that. And it's also your work to believe that God will bring it to completion in them. Because they're just like you. They doubt. Which one of you, when you were a child, didn't question at one point or another your parents' love for you when you disappointed them? Oh, I disappoint. I didn't do what I was supposed to do. Daddy's upset. Every one of us has. And so do your children. And so do you believe that God's Holy Spirit is sufficient and Jesus' blood shed on the cross is sufficient for your children? Or are you hopeless for them? Do you think if you don't do what you're supposed to do, all hope is lost? Because it all rests on my shoulders. And if I don't as a parent do everything,

you're going to go to hell. And you get sick over it. Parents, you fail. It should be a relief to you for me to say, you fail. I fail. All of the time. Whatever conceptions you have of me, about my parenting, because I'm preaching on this, you're wrong. I've had to learn the things that I've learned the hard way and through failing at these and having you And other people who love me and my wife saying, uh-uh, uh-uh, you can't do that. And what a relief is it to a parent to have their sins covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. As parents, not just your sins against your spouse and your sins against your coworkers or your sins against your extended family, but your sins against your children. Your failures to shepherd them and to train them and to raise them. Those sins covered by the blood of Jesus Christ.

And if you can believe that for yourself, you must believe it for your children. You don't want to raise children that don't trust God because they're not sure if he really loves them when they sin. They're sure that he loves them when they're doing what they should do. But they're not convinced that he loves them when they sin. You have to teach your children that God loves them when they sin. And you have to love them when they sin. That is the gift of God that you have the opportunity when your children fall into sin to love them as God has loved you. That is an exclusive privilege that only Christians have. So what does a new heart look like? Well, it looks like hard work being done over a long period of time. And it looks like God blessing it. And it looks like a struggle. It doesn't look beautiful.

But in the end, it will be glorious. Because God does bring to completion the things that he starts. When I tell you that your children need new hearts, it creates pressure. I say, everything's not as it should be with your kids. And parents go, ugh, ugh, don't poke me there. And I say, but you have to be poked there. And you say, please don't. I say, I have to. I know it hurts. And what I want you to do is I want you to get through the initial pain and see that God is faithful. He's faithful to us. He's faithful to our children. His plans are good. And if he's given you children, he's tasked you with the work of raising them up. And it's your work as parents to know what your children need. And that doesn't mean you're the only person who knows what your children need.

Especially as they get older, other people will know what your children mean because they'll know your children. But it's your job as a parent to know them. They're not little cookie cutters. Your children are different. Not just boys and girls. We have one girl and six boys and we've got lots of different kinds of boys. And the goal is for our sons to become godly men who fear God and who love him and who delight in keeping his commandments. And if you think of it like a mountain, That's the apex. That's the pinnacle. That's what they're aiming for. And every one of my kids is climbing up that mountain in a different place. And they're going to have to go up a different path and they're going to face different things as they go up. Some kids have health problems. Some kids have learning problems. Some kids are just stubborn, hard-willed, dig in their heels and fight with you problems. Some kids are passive. And they look up there and go, no. It's your job as parents to know that.

about each of your children, and then to shepherd them up that hill saying, if you're to get to the top of this hill, you have to have a new heart. I want you to have a new heart. I trust God that he'll give you a new heart. Not because you're a good person, but because God is good. And he's good to us. This is what teaching your children sounds like. And you say these things to them when they're struggling. And they're struggling when they're in sin. And it's very important that when your children are struggling, that you be a strength to them. that you give them, that you show them, that you trust God for them, that he will save them, that he will give them his spirit. If you're hopeless about that, your kids will be hopeless about it. None of us want that. And I say, so do you believe it? And how strange is it that a Baptist is saying all this to you? I'm like talking like a Presbyterian, right, Daniel? But I'm telling you that I believe that God has given parents the work of raising up godly seed to honor and to glorify him.

Whether you baptize your infants or not, it's your work. And so do it. Be free to do it. Be free to mess up and sin and then repent. Tell your kids you're sorry. They need new hearts. If you have a new heart, you need to show them what it looks like. Let's pray. Father, we adore you and we love you. And we don't deserve the least of your mercies. Not to us, not to our children, none of us. And yet through your Son, we have peace with you. And Father, what a gift that is. We pray, Father, that you would increase our faith, that you would give us new hearts, and that you would give us your Holy Spirit as well, so that we would walk in your ways. We pray that you give us perseverance and grit and faith to fight against our sins, to lead our children to fight against their sins, and to put their hope, in your Son for the forgiveness of their sins. Father, your Son has been raised from the dead and is seated at your hand in heaven, interceding for us. And Father, we ask that you would bless our efforts that we make by faith, raising our children. We pray that you would give them new hearts and that you would give them joy in obedience. And we pray that you would make us examples to them of this very thing.

We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.