You Have Left Your First Love

This morning we'll be in Revelation chapter 2, looking at verses 1 through 7. And this passage is one of the letters that Jesus dictates to the Apostle John to write to one of the seven churches. And in this passage we're confronted with a reality that is not unfamiliar to us. While Jesus has much to commend of the church at Ephesus, he has an issue with them. namely that they have left their first love. And if we're honest with ourselves, we're prone to the same thing that the Lord is addressing here in our own hearts. Our hearts are prone to wander from him. And my hope for us this morning is that we would see the ways that we're prone to leave our first love and that we would take heed of this passage and repent and return to our Lord, serving him out of our love for him. If you would, please stand for the reading of God's word.

This is the word of the Lord and it is eternally true. To the angel of the church in Ephesus write, the one who holds the seven stars in his right hand, the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands says this, I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance and that you cannot tolerate evil men and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles and they are not and you found them to be false. And you have perseverance and have endured for my name's sake and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen and repent and do the deeds you did at first. Or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place unless you repent. Yet this you do have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will grant to eat of the tree of life which is in the paradise of God. This is the word of the Lord. You may be seated. In verse 4, Jesus says, But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. What does Jesus mean when he says you have left your first love? Part of what he's saying is that their love is... now is not the same as it was before. The flame doesn't burn as brightly. The love is not as strong as it was at the first. The love is waning. If it were a flashlight, the love would be running out of batteries and poorly lit and very dim. Jesus is also referring to the object of their love. Who is their first love? It's himself. Jesus is their first love.

He's the bridegroom, and we are his bride. His church, his people, they are his bride. He's telling the church at Ephesus, you have left me. You have forsaken me. You have abandoned me. God says something similar to Israel through the prophet Jeremiah. In Jeremiah 2, verse 2, he says, I remember concerning you the devotion of your youth, the love of your betrothals, your early love. Jesus is saying, I know your deeds. I know that you have left your first love. You loved me at the first, but now your love has grown cold. So what does it look like to leave your first love? Think about your love for your spouse. Do you remember what dating was like? I remember when Paige and I started dating. As many of you know, Paige and I met in Louisville. We were going to college. We were at Boyce. And we met.

and we met and went on our, well, anyway. We met at Boyce, and we were spending time together. We were in the same friend group, and eventually I became completely taken with Paige. I had fallen hard. And right when I realized what I was feeling, I found out that she was moving back here and wasn't going back to school. It was towards the end of the semester. It was finals week. I thought, Originally, I thought, well, she'll come back in the fall, and we'll see what happens. And I had a friend that was like, no, no, she's going back to Plainfield, and she is not coming back. And I said, well, I better act fast then. So on finals week, we went on our, well, my third date, her first date. That's a story for another time. But we went on our first date, and it was sweet. It was great. But I had to deal with the elephant that I felt was sitting on top of me the whole time, which was, what is the future, and what's our intention?

You're leaving. You're going up to Plainfield. That's two and a half hours away from where I live and where I have life. And it was an awkward conversation. But I had already decided. I had already decided that I was willing to drive just a couple hours to see her. So we talked about it. And you know Paige. You know my wife. She's very sweet. She kind of hemmed and hawed. She was like, well, it's such a long way. Are you sure? Are you sure that you want to do this? I don't expect you to do it. I'm not expecting you to do that. Sorry, yeah. I don't want to ask you to do that. I don't want to impose. And I just told Paige, I said, it's not a big deal because I want to come see you. And that's what we did for a year. I drove two hours here and back, here and back to Louisville, once, sometimes twice a month, just so that I could see Paige and be with her for a day. Because I wanted to. Because it mattered to me.

Because I had fallen completely in love. That's the kind of love Jesus is talking about that the Ephesians have lost. They've lost the first love. Think about Jacob and Rachel. Jacob worked for seven years to marry Rachel. Technically 14, but seven years to marry Rachel. And what does God's word say about Jacob? So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. Isn't that beautiful? That's what the Ephesians' first love looked like. At some point, it's common for love to lose its fervor. We get into habits of life. You get married, you add children, you add hobbies, you add work, you add extended family, you add things like home ownership, all sorts of things that get thrown into the mix that take up your time and your attention and your care. It's not uncommon.

especially for men, to be more intentional relationally in the dating phase than they are in their marriage. And that ought not to be. And yet I and many of us, husbands or wives, could look at points and times in our marriage where we weren't fanning the flames of our love. We weren't fanning the flames of our love like we should because we got distracted or we fell into routines. Things became just going through the motions. Or maybe being married, being a father or a mother, it just became the thing you did. It became work. It became a chore. Now, you kids, do you like chores? Maybe you'd say yes, but you definitely don't like all chores, right? Chores can feel like burdens. And sometimes we'd prefer to act like they don't exist. And sometimes that's where we put our love.

Our first love falls into the category of chore or burden. This isn't really a sermon about marriage, but it's connected. You understand the temptation here that I'm talking about of love losing its fervor. It's easy for our love to grow stale or cold if we aren't tending the flames of our affections and devotion to one another. And if it's easy with the people that you live with. the people that you know, the people that you see, then it is incredibly easy with a God whom you cannot see. Leaving your first love looks like going through the motions without the substance. We're prone to pour all our energy and affection in at first, but soon become lazy or burned out later. We start grumbling and complaining about those we love or the work we have to do for them. And we spend less time doing things out of our love.

And doing them with frustration. Do you always do what you're supposed to do because you love to do it? If you're like me, probably not. Now take all of this and apply it to the Lord. Do we do this with our Lord and our Savior? What does it look like for us as Christians to leave our first love? We lose the fervor we once had to read his word. Our zeal for proclaiming the gospel begins to fade. We keep the law and the commandments because those are things we're supposed to do. And we suffer and we work through the hardships and we're active in the church and we attend and we do the work and all the while, doing all those things, all the while our love can grow cold. So I want to ask you this morning, have you left your first love? The Lord Jesus himself knows. Look at verses 1 and 2.

Jesus says he holds the seven stars in his right hand and he walks among the seven golden lampstands. What are the lampstands? They're the churches. He walks among them. He's in the midst of them. In verse 2, Jesus says, I know. Jesus has an intimate knowledge of the church and his people. He has an intimate knowledge of you and your love. Jesus didn't just accuse the Ephesians. This isn't just like a, well, it kind of seems like, well, it kind of looks like. It's not an unfounded accusation. No, Jesus knows. Jesus says, I know you have left your first love. And Jesus has an intimate knowledge of you and I. He knows when our hearts aren't in the work. He knows when we grumble and complain, even if we don't say it outwardly, but we think it inwardly.

He knows when we complain about things at church, about the work, about the potlucks, about attending all the events or the midweek programs. He's not unaware of when the light of your affection and devotion start to grow dim. He knows. Have you left your first love? Has your love for God grown stale? Are you just going through the motions, coming to church because it's the right thing to do? You don't want to deal with any questions if you didn't come. And children, youth, you're in danger of this. Do you love coming to church with your mom and dad? Or is church just the thing that mom and dad drag you to? It's just a thing you do because it, I mean, if you're a little older, it's just a thing you do because you want mom and dad to be happy. You don't want to deal with the fights. Is coming to church a drag for you? Just another thing you do because you're made to. Brothers and sisters.

Do we say with the psalmist, I was glad when they said to me, let us go to the house of the Lord? Or do we hear our alarm on Sunday and groan, just a couple more hours, why do I have to go? A few years ago, I was writing a sermon, and I had just finished, what was it, coming under care at Presbytery. And we were in South Carolina, I was with Abram and Pastor Dave. and I had said something, because I was writing the sermon for that Sunday, and I had said something like, yeah, I have to write my sermon. I have to write my sermon. And Abram corrected me, and Abram said, you don't have to write your sermon. You get to write your sermon. It is a privilege. It is a joy. It's not a chore. I was glad when they said to me, let us go to the house of the Lord. Don't just do it because it's what you always do. Do it because you love to do it. Now, you might say,

As I'm asking the question, have you left your first love? You might say, but Timothy, I do all the stuff. We do all the stuff. We do come to the work days. We come to service. I go to work. I do my job. I provide for my family. I care for the children. My home is clean, or at least mostly clean. I sacrifice time and energy. I go to the men's groups. I go to the women's groups. I go to small group. I get my children in the Awana and the youth program. I've gotten in trouble at work for speaking out about my faith. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not a drug addict. I abstain from meat sacrifice to idols, and I hate the sins of my society, like abortion and homosexuality and transgenderism. We do all the stuff. I got all the right stuff. And that's great. Those are good things. But so did the Ephesians. Look at verses 2 and 3. I know your deeds, or I know your works. I know your toil.

Hard work. Laborious work. Not easy. Tiring. Exhausting. Good. Good work. Perseverance. They had perseverance. They didn't stop doing the work. They didn't stop doing the stuff. No matter how hard, no matter how tired, they kept working. Jesus says that they didn't grow weary. You have not grown weary. They hated. They didn't tolerate evil men. They hated the deeds of the Nicolaitans. We don't know much about the Nicolaitans, or even if I'm saying it right, but it seems from some historical accounts and from later in this passage that they were sexually immoral people. They claimed some form of godliness, but they lived debauched and lecherous, anyway, they lived awful sinful lives. Not only did they have the good works and the right hatred, the Ephesians, but they had the right doctrine. They put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not.

In Acts 20, Paul told the Ephesians to watch out for savage wolves and to protect the flock. He told Timothy, who he left at Ephesus, that the church was the pillar and the support of the truth. The Ephesians took Paul's warnings to heart. The Ephesians took the teaching that Timothy gave from Paul to heart. They heeded these warnings. They knew when false teachers came, and they tested them. Just as John had warned in his epistle, in 1 John 4, 1, he says, test the spirits. That's what they did. The church at Ephesus did all the stuff. They did all these things, and they received praise for it. The Lord commended them for their good work. So you do all the stuff. You sacrifice, and you give, and it takes a lot of work. It's hard to do the work days and do a wanna.

but it's good work. But you can do all these things and still have left your first love, just like the Ephesians did. That's what Jesus says to the Ephesians. You do all the stuff. You do all the good works. You have all the right doctrine, but you've left your first love. And you might also say, well, Jesus says if we love him, we'll keep his commandments. And that's right and true, but that doesn't mean that if you do the right things that you love God. That's not the same thing. You can do the stuff. and have not love. Remember what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13? If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and I know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Yes, if we love him, we will keep his commands. We're called to do good works, but we're called to do them from our love for God. And so I ask all of us again, have we left our first love? How easy is it to leave love for God and his people at the door in our pursuit of doing the right things? None of the stuff we do matters if we don't have love for the Lord and his people. Now you might think that this is overblown or that it's not that big of a deal. But I want to warn you that leaving your first love is a big deal, especially to your first love. Jesus himself gives the warning that if the Ephesians, if we, when our hearts wander, if we do not repent of leaving our first love, he says, I am coming in judgment. That's part of what he's implying. I am coming and will remove your lampstand out of its place.

Unless you repent. Essentially, I will unchurch you. You will no longer be a church. It's sort of the inverse of what he says in the Old Testament. I will make those who are not my people, my people. It's the opposite of that. I will remove your lampstand. Leaving our first love is not a benign or a lesser sin. It's not just something that you should deal with tomorrow or when you have time. It's a sin that brings the judgment of God. You can have all the stuff. You can have all the good works. But if you don't have love, the Lord will come and remove your lampstand. Yes, the church is commended in all the good they do, but they sit under the threat of judgment because the love and the zeal and the fervor they had when they first became Christians has gone. And the truth is that you're probably aware that your love for God is more present at some times than at other times. This is not like a...

you just have left and you just always are gone and your love is always waning and your love is always dim. There are ebbs and flows. Sometimes our love for Jesus is very evident and sometimes we just go through the motions. How many times have you come to church, felt the love of your brothers and sisters, been convicted by the sermon and then gone home returning to normal? You left hearing God's word preached, you felt convicted and then Monday morning you got up and you went to work. and your thoughts and your heart, it was like nothing had actually happened. There was a spark or a flame or something on Sunday, but now it's Monday, and I don't want to read my Bible. I don't want to pray. Maybe I pray for a few minutes here or there so I don't lose my mind at work or with the kids. But the conviction, the fire that you felt on Sunday, it wore off. And our love for God can fluctuate.

It's the same in your marriage or with your children. You have these wonderful moments of, I'm doing this because I want to do it, because I love you, versus an hour or two hours later or the next day, I'm begrudgingly doing this just to make you happier, to get you off my back. The people in our homes know when we do that. My son knows when I'm not into the game he wants to play. So I come home from work. And I give Paige a hug and kiss, and I give my son a hug and kiss, and Timmy goes, Daddy, Daddy, let's play football. That's all he ever wants to play. Daddy, Daddy, let's play football. Okay, let's play. Sits on the floor. That's me. Sits on the floor. Let's play, buddy. No, no, no, Daddy. Daddy, you've got to get up. You've got to get up. Buddy, I don't want to. But, Daddy, you've got to get up. You've got to chase me. You have to chase me. You have to tackle me. You have to get up. My son knows when my heart isn't into it.

My son knows when his dad's not engaged. My two and a half year old knows that. The Lord of the universe knows when yours and my heart are not engaged. He knows when our hearts and our affections are not engaged in the work that we're doing for him. So what do we do? Jesus tells the church at Ephesus what they need to do. First he tells them to remember. Remember from where you have fallen. Remember the love you had at first. It's like the story I told about Paige and I when we first started dating, right? I was telling you guys that story and I'm feeling all of the feelings that I had then as I told you the story, as I was remembering it. I'm sure many of you could tell similar stories about when you met your wife or your husband and when you started dating or when you first got married. This is the kind of thing that we ought to do to return to our love. Remember what it was like when you first became a Christian.

When God opened your eyes and you saw clearly your depravity, your sin, your wickedness, all the things that made you and I unlovable, and you realized your need for him and his mercy on you and his love for you, and you saw his rich mercy and love displayed in Christ who died for you, remember, this is the kindness of things like anniversaries. They're a reminder. of the day that you took your vows and devoted your lives to each other. You think back on your relationship and you remember the kind of love you had when your romance was young. You have pictures you look at of the first time you held your newborn baby and you're reminded of the love you have for your children. Every time there's a baptism, it should remind us of when we were baptized. It should remind us of what it was like when we first became a Christian. Every time we take communion, it should remind us of God's love for us and our love for him. So remember the gospel. It helps reignite the flame of love when we remember why we love God. Meditate on God's love for you. 1 John 4, 19 says, we love because he first loved us. Jesus loved you and he gave himself for you. He died that you might live. He took your sins away. He washed you and made you clean. He gave you life.

abundant life. Love him for it. But God demonstrated his own love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Remember God's love for you. It's not really just about remembering your love for him. It's about remembering his love for you. It will spur you on to love him. Remember the gospel and how God saved you from certain destruction. Remember from where you have fallen. Jesus says remember, and then he says repent and do the deeds you did at first. When we realize we've left our love, we need to return to him. We need to call to him and ask him to give us the affection we had for him. Think about the song, Come Thou Fount. In that song we sing, Bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here is my heart, O take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.

Give him your heart. Ask him. Ask him. Repent and pray that the Lord would help you do the deeds you did at first. Repent and pray that the Lord would help you love him. That he would return the zeal. That he would return the joy. That he would return the affection you had at first. And if you've never had it, then ask for it. Come to Jesus and ask for it. That's what John Bunyan's grace abounding to the chief of sinners is all about. It's about this guy who for years wants to be chosen, but it's like, I don't know if I'm chosen. And he wants the love of God. He wants to be loved and to love. So ask for it. Jesus says, repent and do the deeds you did at first. We discussed earlier how the Ephesians had been holding to their doctrine and had persevered in good work, and Jesus commended them. But now he tells them to repent and do the deeds they did at first.

So they've done all the work. They do all the work. But he says, repent and do the work. And there are a few things to consider. First, remember the greatest commandment that the Lord gives us. And he said to them, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. We are commanded to love our God with all our heart, soul, and mind. And we also know that this command is in reference to the Ten Commandments, particularly the first four. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make any graven images. Don't take the Lord's name in vain and honor the Sabbath to keep it holy. And so we should consider how well do we keep the Ten Commandments. Actually keep them. We may not worship idols like Artemis. Artemis? Artemis. We may not worship idols like Artemis or Baal. But is there anything in our hearts that we love or are tempted to love more than God?

Are there things in our lives that we would rather do than spend time with the Lord? Like our hobbies, our work, games, hunting, fantasy football. I mean, seriously. I like football, so I'm picking on myself just as much as anyone else. We need to be honest and ask ourselves, is it a distraction from loving God and his people on Sunday? Is it a distraction from loving God with all of our heart and our mind and our soul? Do we find ourselves spending more time editing the fantasy football roster or watching the games than we're willing to spend with the Lord, in his word and in prayer and with his people? We need to repent and return to the deeds we did at the first. When we realize that our love with our spouse has left, what do we do? We return to the basics. If the love grows cold or stale, you return to the basics. Communication.

For Paige and I, a lot of our first dates were walking and talking. So that's what we do. It rekindles what's there. It's comfortable to us. It's helpful for us. It helps us remember our love for each other. It helps us in our communication. How is it that you came to know the Lord? It was through his word. You came to know the Lord because he revealed himself to you through his word. So go back to his word and read it. Meditate on it. Think on it. Dave, Pastor Dave, you've been married for 21 years? 22? Something like that? I'm putting you on the spot. 19? Okay. You've been married for 19 years. Do you and Vanessa still learn new things about each other? Yeah. But you wouldn't learn those new things if you didn't communicate or relate to one another, right? Okay, so now Dave, Pastor Dave and Vanessa are finite, and you and I, we're finite humans.

and yet in 19 years of marriage, they're still learning new things about each other. And I'm sure Dan and Wendy are still learning new things about each other, and I'm sure Daniel and Marianne are still learning new things about each other. And you have an infinite God who loves you and has revealed himself to you in his word, but he is infinite. He is incomprehensible. If your knowledge of your spouse, if you're communicating, your knowledge of your spouse is continuing to grow and develop and change, how much more are the infinite God of the universe? meaning that we'll never know everything about him, and yet he's revealed himself to us. You and I, no matter how many times we read through the Bible, are always growing in the knowledge and grace of the Lord. How can we say we love God, but we don't spend time with him in his word? We don't spend time getting to know him through his revelation in his word.

We need to continue to grow in our knowledge of the Lord. We need to continue to read his word, no matter how many times you've read it through. Read it and read it and read it. I mean, it's just, again, it's like when you first became a Christian. When you first became a Christian, you couldn't get enough. Generally, you just kept reading and reading. You wanted to know more about the God who saved you. We need to continue to grow in our knowledge of the Lord. We need to enjoy him and delight in him. We need to do it now because in heaven, that's all we're going to do. The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever, right? So what do you think being in heaven is going to be like? It's like a young man who thinks that a single man who thinks that he can continue indulging his lust in pornography, and then when he gets married, He'll be all better. It'll be fixed. He'll be fine. The lust will go away and he'll just have love for his wife. That's foolishness, right? So if we sit here in our lives and we think, well, you know, when I get to heaven, I'll enjoy and delight in the Lord forever. So why do I have to do it now? That's the wrong idea. That's the wrong idea. The Lord is preparing us for heaven. He is preparing us to be in his presence. He's preparing us to enjoy him and delight in him and love him forever. And so,

We ought to do that work now. We ought to do that work now. Another way that we repent and we do the deeds we did at first is to love each other. That's the second greatest command that the Lord gives. Love your neighbor as yourself. In Ephesians 1.15, Paul commends the Ephesians for the report that he's received about them. This is from Ephesians 1.15. Having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus which exists among you and your love for all the saints. That was the report of the Ephesians. They had love for one another. They had love for God's people. In 1 John 1, John tells us that this is how we know that we love God, if we love one another. You can't say that you love God and hate your brother. If you say you love God and you hate your brother, then you're a liar. So we have to love each other. Love your church and the people in it. Do the work. Obey the commands.

Do all the things that the Lord Jesus commends the Ephesians for, but do them from love. If we just live our lives going through the motions of religion without love, then we end up no better than the Pharisees. We'll end up just like them, hypocritical legalists who like rules and have a form of godliness, but they don't love God and they don't love his people. So I'll ask one last time, have you left your first love? If you have, then return to him. He won't reject you or turn you away. Think about the prodigal son when he goes away from his father and he squanders everything he had. Luke 15, 17 says, but when he came to his senses, he said, how many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger. And what happens? What does he do? So he's left his father. And when he returns, it's with the intention of being a slave. He says, I'll just be like one of my father's servants.

And what does his father do when he sees him coming in the distance? What does he do? He runs to him. He runs to his son. He greets him. You and I aren't slaves. You're a son. You're a daughter. Delight in your father. Jesus has not left you. Jesus has not left. He's there. He's waiting for us to come back to him when our hearts wander. He's calling us to come. Jesus has not left you. Draw near to him and he will draw near to you. And then Jesus gives this promise to those who repent and overcome. He says, those who repent and overcome will be granted to eat of the tree of life in the paradise of God. We're not just trying to get to heaven so we can avoid punishment. We want to be in the presence of the Lord. We want to see our love face to face. We want to enjoy him forever. So love him.

Repent and return to the deeds you did at first. Love God because he first loved you. Return to him as children return to their father. Return to prayer and his word. Cry out to him and ask him to help you love him the way you did at the first. Let's pray.