Two Are Better Than One

Good morning, again. Today we'll be in Ecclesiastes 4. We'll be looking at verses 7-12. And in this passage, we see a contrast between a man living a life of vanity, all on his own, and a man who has companions. Solomon tells us that relationships, friendship, fellowship, they are better than living a life alone. We could summarize this passage just by saying that we need companionship. This includes marriage, and it also includes the fellowship believers enjoy within the local church. My hope this morning is that we'll see the ways that we try to live our lives without the help and love of others, and that we'll repent and give ourselves to the joy of fellowship. Would you please stand for the reading of God's Word? Then I looked again at vanity under the sun. There was a certain man without a dependent, having neither a son nor a brother. Yet there was no end to all his labor.

Indeed, his eyes were not satisfied with riches, and he never asked, and for whom am I laboring and depriving myself of pleasure? This too is vanity, and it is a grievous task. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together, they keep warm. But how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. This is the word of the Lord. You may be seated. So our passage this morning begins with Solomon considering a certain man. He says, there was a certain man without a dependent. Now, what does that mean? What does it mean that this man was without a dependent? Think about your taxes.

When you file your taxes or you fill out your tax forms for work, you have to fill out your exemptions, right, and your dependents. Who do you claim is your dependents? Your dependents consist of anyone in your home that you care for and provide for financially. Solomon tells us here that this man, in verse 8, does not have anyone who depends on him. No one needs him to provide for them. No one needs him to care for them or help them. This man has no family. He has no wife. He has no children. He is completely alone. This is made explicitly clear when the passage goes on further and says, having neither son nor a brother. The man described here is a loner. No family. No wife. No children. No siblings. No one to provide for. No one to care for. No one to love or to be loved by.

This man only cares about himself. Yet there was no end to all his labor. So this man's all alone, and he just doesn't stop working. He just works and works and works. And at first, that might sound commendable to us. But we need to ask the question, why? Why is there no end to all this man's labor? What's his goal in all his work? And God's Word tells us that there's no end to this man's labor because he's not satisfied with riches. He keeps working because he's not happy with what he already has. He's seeking promotions. He's seeking to grow his wealth. He's pursuing power. And we know men like this today. Manosphere guys who despise women and relationships. They don't have any dependence. They can't be bothered to be tied down by marriage or children. They just give themselves to the grind.

And they work and they work and they work without stopping. They're always looking to the next thing. Enough is never enough. They always need more. There's no end to their labor. And who do these men work for? They work for themselves. They want to build their own kingdoms. Everything they do, they do for themselves. And so what I want to say is, brothers and young men, it's easy for us to be tempted to see the man described here in verse 8 and wonder, well, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with being successful? What's wrong with having riches? What's wrong with working hard? He does work hard. What's wrong with that? And there are a few things that we need to consider. The first is that this kind of worldly success doesn't satisfy us. Solomon says his eyes were not satisfied with riches. This man never rests. He never relaxes. He's always striving for more. And is it any wonder, as I think about this passage, is it any wonder,

That the most successful salespeople I knew, if you know me, you know I spent time in sales. And the most successful salespeople I knew were men whose priorities were like this man in verse 8. That they had aligned themselves with him. And that they had any number of problems and addictions. A guy I knew who had been in car sales for a while, he told me, we were talking and I said, yeah, it's kind of like dog eat dog over there. And he said, no, it's not even that bad. It's more like dog eats himself. Most of the successful salespeople work long 60 to 70 hour work weeks trying to close deals and get new prospects. And the joke that I often heard was that most salespeople were either drunks or cocaine addicts or they were both. They drank so that they could sleep at night and they did cocaine so that they could actually work and be energetic while they talked with people. And I'm not saying that every salesperson is this way.

But it was a joke in our field for a reason. There was some truth to it. And my point is that there's just no satisfaction in being successful by the world's standards. You could have all the riches in the world, buy everything you could ever want, and you'll just keep working. You'll just keep striving for more. True satisfaction comes from God and being obedient to His commands. Another thing to consider is that if we pursue the life here laid out for us in verse 8, it won't end well for us. We'll just die alone. When this man dies, who takes advantage of the wealth and the power and fame that he's accumulated? Nobody. He has no brother. He has no son. He has no heir. No one benefits from all this labor he does. No one inherits the things he's worked so hard for. No one benefits from him. And if we choose this kind of life over what God has called us to, namely, marriage and fruitfulness, we'll die. And we'll die alone.

In other words, what good was it to do all that work for no one but ourselves? It's just selfishness. And if we live this way, we will inevitably die this way. God's Word calls this life vanity. It's pointless. It's grasping for the wind. It's a vapor. If we choose this kind of life, we'll just be useless. We'll be useless to God. We'll be useless to His church. And we'll be useless to everyone else around us. But I'm convinced that to some degree, we've believed the lie. that's been sold to us by the rest of our society, that this life actually is successful. That for some reason, this really appeals to us. The church has believed the lie that the most important thing for young people to do is get an education, be established, make lots of money, travel, and then maybe get married and have children if they want to. Ladies, you're pushed by feminism to put off becoming wives and mothers and bearing and raising children. You're pressured to prioritize building your career and giving yourself to the workforce.

And that's exactly the kind of thing Solomon is condemning in verse 8. My wife recently told me about a trend on social media called dinks. Have you guys heard of dinks? You guys know what I'm talking about? Double income, no kids. There are couples who both have established their careers, their respective careers, and they make a lot of money together. And they prioritize a fancy lifestyle. Going on long vacations to see the world. Lots of stuff. And this is not the life that God has called us to. I'm not saying it's wrong to travel or take vacations. I'm not saying it's wrong to make money. But those things cannot be the ordering principles for our lives. We cannot prioritize making money and going on nice trips and having all sorts of stuff. Brothers and sisters, we shouldn't put off marriage and having children for the sake of establishing ourselves and accumulating wealth for ourselves. It's just vanity. It's selfish.

It's sinful. And it's a rejection of the fruitfulness that God commands of us. It's also just sad. Have you ever met an older person, an older man or an older woman, who you realize after talking with them that they were pretty much alone? They spent most of their lives living like this man described here, and now they're older and they have no one. They have no one to care for them, no one who loves them. And don't you just feel a little sorry for them? Don't you have pity for them, compassion for them, like Jesus had on the multitudes? You see them and you think, that's really sad. Solomon tells us it doesn't matter how much you have if you don't have others. If you don't have companionship, if you don't have friendship or fellowship, nothing that you work for matters. Because no one else can benefit from the work you do. No one else can benefit from your labor. It's not good for us to live life alone. In Genesis 2.18, God said, it's not good for the man to be alone. And His Word tells us,

that before the fall, God had made everything and saw that it was good. Everything was good and in the state of perfection. And in that state, God said, it's not good for the man to be alone. Everything else is good. It's not good that this man has no counterpart. So Adam goes through and he names all the animals, but he doesn't find a suitable helper for himself. And it's interesting, I can't remember now if it was Calvin or Luther, but I believe one of them had said that one of the reasons... that God had Adam name all of the animals, is so that Adam would actually look and see that each animal had a counterpart. There was a male and a female of each kind of animal. That there was animals of their kinds, and they were together. And that Adam would see that and see that they had counterparts, and then Adam would realize his own need to have a companion. That he'd realize his own need to have someone like him. And we know from God's Word that this is true.

it's not good for us to be alone. And if we're honest, we know from our own experiences that it's not good for man to be alone. And we also know that Genesis 2.18 is not limited to marriage. But the Genesis 2.18 also means that men and women need friendship and community. It's broader than that. Than just marriage. Yes, in marriage, a man and woman have companionship together, but they also need it outside of their marriage. Having a family. Having community. Having the church. is better than having the life of the man in verse 8. And that's exactly what Solomon says in verse 9. In verse 9 he says, two are better than one. And so you might be wondering at this point, does that mean that I need to give up my independence and my wealth and I need to get married and have children and sacrifice my life for other things and other people besides myself and my work? And the answer is yes. That's right, Levi. The answer is yes.

Here's the thing about independence. No one is actually truly independent. And so we've been told that that's what we're actually striving for is independence. But no one is really independent. You were born dependent. You came into the world helpless and needing someone to take care of you. And in some cases, as we get older, you'll become more dependent than you are as an adult now in your 20s to 50s. If you get older, some people, when they get older, they become more and more dependent. They can't take care of themselves like they used to, right? And so, no one is truly independent. Your church relationships, your marriage, certain aspects of your work, they require you to be dependent on others. In a lot of ways, Dan, you're dependent on your guys to do their job, aren't you? Jobs don't get done if they don't do them.

And our other relationships, other aspects of our lives are the same way. I remember when Paige and I first started coming to Clear Note, and we were engaged, and we went over to Dave and Vanessa's for dinner one night. And I said something to Pastor Dave to the effect of, I said, I know that I don't really need Paige, but I want Paige in my life. I want to spend my life with Paige. And I can't remember the context of this conversation. And Pastor Dave kind of looked at me. Pastor Dave gave me one of those looks, that look that says, hey, you're an idiot. Would you shut up? You guys know that look? I get that look a lot. But he said, I think I understand what you're trying to say, but it's been my experience that as you're married, over time you'll come to realize how much you actually do need your wife. And now, after having gone through pastor's college and multiple job changes since Paige and I have been married, I think I've learned...

At least a smidge of what that means. I could hype up my wife and tell you that I wouldn't have made it through pastor's college without her. And I mean that because she edits everything that I do. All my work, her eyes have seen. Husbands, we need our wives. And it's not inappropriate for you to tell her that you need her. And vice versa. And so two are better than one. It's better to be joined to a wife than to be single. It's better to work with a partner than to do all the labor yourself. It's better to have a friend to help you than to do everything yourself. Two are better than one because they have a better return for their labor. Working alone, no matter what it is, is just dreadful. At Clear Note, whenever we schedule work days, we often use the phrase, many hands make light work. And I've found that the church work days are some of the most fruitful church events that we do. People work and they're tired and they spend their Saturday here at the church.

But everyone that I talk to is so thankful to have the opportunity to come and serve the church in that way. That they're thankful for the building and for God's provision for us. And they're thankful for the opportunity to work alongside of each other to care for the gifts God has given us. And so the work is more fruitful in a practical sense. We have a better return. Work gets done better and faster. But two working together also have a better return in a spiritual sense. Proverbs tells us that iron sharpens iron. And when two people work together on spiritual matters, they have a better return than someone striving on their own. When you're working to repent of your sin, it's better to do so with the support of someone else. Someone to hold you accountable. Someone to help you. Someone to encourage you. Someone to call you to repent. And we make greater strides when we have others helping us, when we have others laboring with us to put our flesh and our sins to death. We need each other to do that work. We understand these concepts of having a better return.

In business, you have a job to do, and often the more hands working in the right areas, the more production, the faster the job, and the more jobs we can take on and do. And the business makes greater strides, becoming more and more successful. So why is it that in our personal lives we strive so hard to be individuals without the help of others? Why is it hard to understand this in our personal lives? Why is it hard to understand that we need people in our lives to help us grow and change and be more like Jesus? Why else are two better than one? If one falls, the other will pick him up. Isn't that sweet? If we fall, we have someone there to help pick us up. When I was in Boy Scouts, we had something called the buddy system. And in the buddy system, no boy was ever alone. His buddy would always know his exact location at any given time. And so we would often be tested during camping trips if we were using the buddy system.

So one of the scoutmasters would come up and they'd yell, buddy check. And it's kind of funny. If I could have been a scoutmaster looking at the scene, I'm sure I would laugh now. But all of us are frantically looking around. Where's my buddy at? Where'd he go? And you needed to be able to point out or go to your buddy immediately when a buddy check was called. So why did we have this buddy system? Well, it was partially for protection. If anything happened, if a boy got hurt, his buddy was there to help him. or to go get help for him if it was serious enough. It was also so that kids wouldn't get lost on their own. The kids wouldn't just go running off by themselves and no one have any idea where they went off to. The buddy system is just based on what God's Word says here, which is that two are better than one. For if one falls down, the other will pick him up. And isn't this true of our experience as Christians in the church as well? How often have we fallen and found help from God's people?

from our brothers and our sisters in Christ. Whether we've fallen into sin and confessed, or we've been confronted because of our sin, and then we've repented with the help of the church. Or maybe we've suffered hardship, loss, pain. We've been helped by the church in those difficulties. If we're honest with ourselves, we'll realize how much we need the church. How much we need the fellowship of the saints. We need the help of the church and her elders and members. This is not just the duty of elders and pastors to come alongside of you. It's actually your duty to come alongside your brother and sister. And it's your duty to let your brothers and sisters come alongside of you and to help you. As Christians who have fellowship with one another in Christ, it's our privilege to be joined together. Galatians 6.2 says that we are to bear one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

It can be hard and challenging to love one another and pick one another up when we fall. But it's good. It's better than being alone. It's better than having no one to pick you up, no one to bear your burdens, no one to help you. You probably remember that seven or eight months ago, I got laid off of my job, right? When I lost my job, I immediately called three people outside of my family. I called Pastor Dave, I called Pastor Eric, and I called Dan. And I mention that because Dan actually has helped me a lot through that. Dan actually helped me get the job that I currently have. But he did much more than that. Two weeks after I got laid off, I got a call from Dan. And I imagined that the call would just be a standard, hey, how are you? How's the job search going? How's Paige? Everything okay? How can I help? But what I actually got was, hey, Timothy, I'm really disappointed in you. Okay.

Why? Well, we were a small group and you didn't ask your small group to pray for you. You just lost your job and you haven't asked anyone to pray for you. I mean, I know you called me and Pastor Eric and Dave, but you haven't asked anyone to pray for you. And I think in the moment I said something like, well, you know, I just didn't think about it. It just wasn't on my mind. I just didn't think about it. And that conversation really upset me. And so I took that conversation and I carried it with me for a couple of days and I was thinking about it. And I soon realized that I hadn't said anything at small group because I was just too proud. I was being just like the man in verse 8. I was going to figure this out on my own. I didn't need any help. I didn't need anyone to come help pick me up when I fell down. Right? And can't we look at our own lives and think about the times that we do that? That we say, I don't need any help. I've got this.

Dan wasn't just helping me work through the pain of losing my job. Dan was actually doing something more important, which was helping me see my need to be vulnerable. To see my need to ask for help. To ask for prayer. To lean on the church for help. Which is what we're supposed to do. The church is here to help pick us up when we fall. And how sweet is that? To experience God's love. through His people. That's what that was. That was God's love poured out on me through Dan. And so we need to heed the very next line here in our passage. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. If we're going to be helped, if we're going to get picked up, if we're going to have someone help us overpower the enemy, as it tells us in verse 11, then we need to let others help us. Part of that means that we need to be vulnerable. We need to be known.

It's our privilege as Christians, as members in Christ's church, to ask for help. But we're so averse to being helped today. We're too proud. We don't want help because it looks weak. We're afraid of looking weak. We're too proud to admit when we need help and when we're weak. And worse, when people find out that we need help, we often won't let them help us. We refuse their help. We say, no, no, no, I'll figure it out myself. I'm okay, I got it. I'll figure it out. You might say, well, I'm not proud. I just don't want to be a burden. I just don't want to burden the church with my problems. None of my friends, none of my family, they don't need to deal with that. Why? Why don't you want to burden the people that God has given to carry your burden? Part of why we don't want to be a burden is because we feel like it makes us look bad. We're afraid it makes us look needy and makes us look weak.

The problem with that is that we are weak. That our lives are a mess and we need help. That in some sense, we are needy. All of us. You have burdens and they're not easy to carry. They're especially not easy for you to carry. That's why you need someone to help you. That's why you need the church. That's part of why God has given us the church. We cannot live our lives alone and handle our hardships by ourselves. We need companions. Don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help. And don't reject help when it's offered to you. We need to be vulnerable. We need to be known. We can't live this life as though we are on an island. You're not going to make it. You're not going to make it. That's why God's given us the church. One of the hardest parts about getting help and asking for it and receiving it is that it requires us to admit our weakness. It requires us to be vulnerable.

it requires us to admit our need and our dependency on others. I had a man confide in me recently that he doesn't want to ask any of the older men in his life for help because he just doesn't want to burden them. He wants them to think that he can take care of himself because they've already helped him so much. He can't stand the thought of asking them for more help. He feels bad because they've already done so much for him. So he just feels that he needs to prove himself to them now, which means he can't ask them for anything. He can't ask them for help. And I just told him that that was silly. The truth is we fear going to others because it means we must be vulnerable and we're worried. We're worried that they might look down on us. We're worried we might get scolded. We're worried that the older men or the older women we ask for help will look down on us and thank less of us for asking them for help. But the truth is that if you go and ask for help, if you were to ask any of the elders or the pastors, even the deacons,

and their wives for help. They would praise God for your humility. They would praise God for seeking out help. For you seeking out help. You would actually, what you're trying to do is you're trying to be seen as like, I can take care of myself and I'm really wise and I got all of it figured out. And that accomplishes the exact opposite. If you actually go and you ask for help and you seek counsel, That's when the people that you talk to will see you as wise. That's what wise men do. Wise men and women go and ask for help. They ask for counsel. They'll see you as wise for being proactive and wanting counsel. Vulnerability and being known say much better things about your heart than being silent and trying to figure it all out. Woe to those of us that fall and do not want to be known. Brothers and sisters, we need to have faith to confess our sins and be known by God's people.

Have faith to be vulnerable. Have faith to ask for help. Have faith and trust that God's people will help you up when you fall. Because they will. The truth is that we need each other. You need the church. We aren't meant to be the loner in verse 8. God made us to need each other. He made us to need companions, to need community. And what a sweet gift that God would provide for that need for companionship, not only in marriage, but through the household of faith. If you're single, you don't have to be the man in verse 8. You have dependence here at church. God has given you family to lean on, that need you, that you need. He's given you dependence and others to depend on. All of us need to give ourselves to the work of bearing the burdens of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We need to love each other. We need to help each other. We need to pick one another up when we fall. And we need to allow them to help pick us up.

It should delight us that in Christ we have dependence and are dependent on each other. That we have need for one another. And it should delight us that we enjoy the sweet fellowship and love of the brethren. So don't shy away from the wonderful gift God has given you. The church. He's given you the church so that you don't have to be alone. Let's pray.